Monday, May 9, 2011

Pollen, Mold, and Sin....

    I didn't develop allergies until I moved to Lynchburg, VA for college. I was one of those 'judgers' who thought people with allergies were nerdy or wusses. That is, until I myself came under a feeling of sickness that, to me at the time, was crippling and had me whining to the doctor. I remember well, because of the frequent reminders since, the first time I wanted to claw my own skin off and would have volunteered for someone to, without anesthesia, deflate my head before it burst. I remember those feelings then, and very often up to this day, the way allergies affect my body...but more my heart. There is something about physical suffering and discomfort that brings out the truth in my heart. All the impatience, anger, simplicity loving, and self-servicing that lies hidden in my dark corners. And in all my wisdom, the justification to use those flawed characteristics! Oh how my family and loved ones have suffered with me.
   For so long, I hid behind my suffering and excused my behavior because my situation made me feel like I wasn't myself. Therefore, wasn't it alright to respond in a way not of me~ in my ignorant perfection? If only!  But, fear not. The reality of my situation has been revealed through the work of the Holy Spirit, no less. The reality of it all is that those responses only emerge because I willingly host them. I am only capable of a response in line with my character and will. And what a flawed character and ugly will they are. But All Glory To God!, He allows my allergies, maybe even causes them, to bring to light what is desecrating His temple. To make known things which are hidden, and to do a miraculous work in patiently cleansing me of these grotesque, breeding imperfections. Like a loving father coming nits from his daughter's infected hair!

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