A Taste of Therapy

      Last night I went to a get together called "A Taste of Therapy" led by Allison Carver, LPC and Chef. We made pizza from scratch and discussed stress and the process of coping with it in a healthy way. Never in my wildly busy days did I stop to think that slicing olives and peppers or shredding cheese could do what Allison pointed out. We laughed at our different results, our working together as a team, at our communication and judgments. We shared, learned, tasted, and RELAXED....WHILE WORKING!
      Allison's motto is "take it to the kitchen"! What a great idea. Dinner doesn't have to be another thing on my do-to list in need of checking BEFORE I can relax....it can be a tool to get to that point as I go! What an eye opener.
      I feel as though God has gently reminded me that His heart is not one of Martha...but of Mary, who didn't get tripped up in the to-do's but in the loved ones present. Once again, my misaligned heart has been reset. Praise be to God....for a wonderful night of fellowship...and for a lesson learned, personally, that will change my whole family!

Roanoke to Richmond

    As a child I moved often and developed a style to it.  Odd to think that moving could have a style but it seems it can.  It's challenging to move well.  Over the years I began to see it as an almost-sport.  I love the thrill and trial of  the actual packing, loading, and unloading.  I love the newness of the empty space that I will soon reside in and the cleanness that comes to the old only by removing everything first.  I love the fresh start with who I am in other's eyes and the tightness produced in the family as it leans on each member for that sense of home.  I love learning new roads and streets and highways.  Getting lost in routine errands and finding something familiar or drawing a mental map to get home.

This move isn't the same.

While I do look forward to the packing and cleaning and arriving parts, I feel an ache coming from somewhere inside. A bit of sorrow at the loss of roots. Maybe it is my age or that the dynamics of my life have changed, but I long for a deep friendship that surpasses the superficiality of the "getting to know you" stage. I dream of getting to know an older woman who can mentor me into godly mothering and wife-hood. More than anything, I shake at the idea of not having a church for a while. My family has found itself under a pastor and church body that isn't afraid to challenge us. I have come to love the growth that comes with the challenge and I'm nervous to step out from under it. With other moves, since being married, my family has found ourselves walking through spiritual deserts. I wince at the idea of repeating those days.

I feel equipped and know that God will provide and as He promised will develop our character and make us more like Christ. The waiting and vulnerability isn't ideal or pleasant. I suppose I become anxious over foolish things.  God forgive me my lack of faith.

Fog

What is it about a foggy day that stops you or catches your attention? Is it that, for the time, you are unable to see beyond you rather than unwilling?

Honestly, its all too easy for me to live in my little bubble. As dangerous as it is; for example when I'm behind the wheel of a two ton minivan with car seats galore behind me. When I arrive home and cannot for my life remember if that last light was green or if I stopped at the stop sign. It must be even more dangerous spiritually. What have I been missing while my view of the world has been electively tailored to twenty paces or less? Lord, have mercy on your child!

Pollen, Mold, and Sin....

    I didn't develop allergies until I moved to Lynchburg, VA for college. I was one of those 'judgers' who thought people with allergies were nerdy or wusses. That is, until I myself came under a feeling of sickness that, to me at the time, was crippling and had me whining to the doctor. I remember well, because of the frequent reminders since, the first time I wanted to claw my own skin off and would have volunteered for someone to, without anesthesia, deflate my head before it burst. I remember those feelings then, and very often up to this day, the way allergies affect my body...but more my heart. There is something about physical suffering and discomfort that brings out the truth in my heart. All the impatience, anger, simplicity loving, and self-servicing that lies hidden in my dark corners. And in all my wisdom, the justification to use those flawed characteristics! Oh how my family and loved ones have suffered with me.
   For so long, I hid behind my suffering and excused my behavior because my situation made me feel like I wasn't myself. Therefore, wasn't it alright to respond in a way not of me~ in my ignorant perfection? If only!  But, fear not. The reality of my situation has been revealed through the work of the Holy Spirit, no less. The reality of it all is that those responses only emerge because I willingly host them. I am only capable of a response in line with my character and will. And what a flawed character and ugly will they are. But All Glory To God!, He allows my allergies, maybe even causes them, to bring to light what is desecrating His temple. To make known things which are hidden, and to do a miraculous work in patiently cleansing me of these grotesque, breeding imperfections. Like a loving father coming nits from his daughter's infected hair!

Successful Trials?

    These days, each season seems to bring a new change in life. Nearly always I am able to welcome the change or at least adapt quickly (at least when it is in the stages of theory and imagination). But lately the changes come without warning and I am forced to skip the welcoming stage as I am thrown into the adapting. Nearly always, it seems, my heart screams out for things to be still and return to normal.
     I have been encouraged in many directions on the matter of trials and storms, yet in some way the advice seems elementary. As if it were hollow yet well meant. You know what I'm referring to: "God will use this for good";"God is refining you"; or "it's when our lives are darkest that God can shine the brightest". I know these things to be true but they do not shed light on what I should do or how I should respond.
     I have been reflecting on this issue frequently these days as I watch many other families and friends in their trials and hope to have something deeper and fuller to encourage them with. Some bit of truth and spirit. I came across these quotes and it seems my heart is once again not where it should be.
      "Challenge is what keeps us seasoned. But to be profitable, our struggle must have purpose, and it must be productive...It's only when we put struggle within the Christian context of character development and self-sacrifice that it becomes profitable."   by Gary Thomas
   What is the purpose of our trials? How do I respond in a productive manner?  Gary Thomas indicates through character development and self-sacrifice. I can feel the fullness of those charges.
   Thomas also says "It helps when we view our struggles in light of what they provide for us spiritually rather than in light of what they take from us emotionally." This one-liner hit me like a ton of bricks! I could not accurately confess to you the amount of times I have allowed my tender, fickle, and aching heart to justify my inappropriate character and actions. Or explain how my heart seems to sail recklessly as I hypocritically long for stability. All the while, I blame the storm!
   Thank you Jesus for giving these ideas to the authors and for leading my to the books!

Generation to Generation

       Is there a more beautiful way to preserve human kind, than through the birth of a new child, a new generation?                                                                                    God gives us this immense responsibility all wrapped up and looking like the best gift any of us have ever received.

 I am sometimes anxious over my task of teaching these children all that God has done for us. 

When I look down at my daughter(and she cocks her head back to give me a big goofy smile with every effort she can muster), its hard to acknowledge she isn't perfect. Harder still to think that left to her own will, she would wallow in self and choose death and destruction for her body and soul.

         Fortunately for my generation, as the generation before us and before them, the truths of God aren't easily hidden or contained! God makes the job of parent and grandparent easy, if we abide in Him. He pours out his love, through blessing, in times of celebration and especially in times of trial.

 I give praise to God for the acts of Jesus, here in the flesh and ultimately on the cross where He paid for our imperfection. And I give thanks to all those veterans in the faith who accepted the patience God offered (which we all know was dearly needed) to walk beside the next generation, guiding us on, correcting us in love, and, at times, excitedly leading the way! 

Is there a more beautiful way to preserve human kind, in the flesh AND in spirit? 

Why all the Blogging...

    My professor of Microbiology, a dear man, and friend once said "Science is God's Art Gallery." I whole heartedly agree, but as I age and my responsibilities expand it seems my eyes are opened further to it's truth. Science is more than a fun subject; more than a microscope, or a cell. Science can be like magic to those who see it at work but do not understand. I am one of those. All of the inner workings of life have not been discovered or revealed; such as the instinct of animals to flee natural disaster or the driving force behind atomic energy. And yet the ocean of scientific knowledge, to date, is overwhelming. I stand in awe of all God has done through His creation.
   Thus, my purpose with this blog is to acknowledge God's presence and Glory which is at the center of and permeating through every aspect of  life. I hope to inspire MYSELF to see and then glorify God. If you would like to join me, Please do so, and Enjoy.